My Struggle & Motivation

Hello everybody. Today is going to be a little different as I’m not going to be talking about video games, but rather something very important to me. If you would rather want fun loving video game talk then check back later, for today is going to be rather emotional.

    I’ve come to terms lately that I’m suffering from depression and figured it’s time to get help. Lately life has just been tearing me apart over and over again, makings things extremely difficult. It’s destroyed me to a point of helplessness, where it’s been hard for me just to enjoy day to daybkife. One of the biggest things is how I try to do this whole writing thing as an aspiration for the future but I don’t feel good enough for it, I never feel good enough and it’s sad. The thing is I never really felt good enough for anything my enitre life. I’m scared to do anything as I’ve become accustomed to failure and things going wrong. It got to the point where I’d avoid everything just to save myself from the inevitable heartbreak or failure I was prone to. This in turn prevented me from experiencing wonderful things, it’s pushed people I care about the most away. The way I have become is self destructive and I don’t want to be like this any longer. I guess my only purpose for writing this is to just call attention to it, come clean and try to move on. Who knows, maybe someone who feels the same stumbles across this and thinks maybe getting help is the right choice, or even talking to someone about it can help. I mean it’s better than the alternative, living every day with misery is no way to go. I deserve to be happy, we all do.

    As a second part of this post I just want to give a thank you to someone important to me. She’s the reason I continue to write and try. Whenever I felt down and defeated this person always held me up and made things so much better. She was like a shining star in my life that guided me through everything. The whole reason I was even brave enough to seek help in the first place was thanks to her. Whenever I said I was a failure you were always there, you always pushed me to do better. You cared for nothing more than to build me as a person and I appreciate everything you ever did. You are my continuous source of inspiration and I’m glad you’ve got me this far in life. Judith, if you ever read this I just want to say thank you.

    That’s all for today folks. More content to come out soon as I try my hardest to overcome the obstacles of life. I’ll see you all next time.

2 thoughts on “My Struggle & Motivation

  1. Stay strong and thank you for sharing your struggle. It’s a scary thing to feel like you are helpless, but it can get better. You’ve taken some imprtant steps already by seeking council and acknowledging the situation. I pray that you are well and will start to feel better soon.

    -Luna 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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